Lessons from a Dad: Part 5 Cry Well
John 11:35 “Jesus Wept”
Recently, I began writing a series of blogs as a result of reflecting on the 20th anniversary of my dad’s death. In the first one, I placed a list of 10 things I want to teach my girls. At the bottom of this post are links connecting you with the first three posts.
There is an assumption in our culture that men, real men, never cry, and that women cry all the time. If a man cries, he is being too emotional and needs to toughen up. If a woman never cries, something is wrong with her and she needs to be more sensitive. Those are dangerous assumptions to make. I am learning over the years that the quantity of your tears is not as important as the quality. Let me explain…
This lesson is called: “cry well” NOT “cry more” or “cry less”. Not everything in life is going to go your way. Things will fall apart; life will bring pain. I pray you will learn to praise God in those times, but that acceptance of God’s sovereign hand in your pain does not mean you do not cry. It means you cry well. You don’t bottle it up, hold it in, press it down, and wait for the pain to go away. It never does. It will always resurface in other places. It make you numb and not compassionate towards others. No where in the Bible is that the call for Christians. We are not to bottle up our emotions until it combusts or resurfaces in other areas and in unhealthy ways. It is healthy and good for you to cry. It is so important that you learn to mourn well. Deal with those emotions that come and do not brush them away. Do not be controlled by them. Girls, I pray you become believers in Jesus, because Christians are called to have everything under the authority of Jesus. That INCLUDES our emotions, so they do not run rampant and out of control in our lives and we do not suppress them and keep them pinned deep inside never to be seen by anyone else. We deal with them. One of the most beautiful things that happens when we cry well and mourn well and grieve well is that we are drawn into the love of Jesus more.
It helps us to look at the Savior and see that He knows about our pain and suffering and weeping and mourning. He isn’t brushing it aside and calling it dumb. He isn’t letting it run rampant and controlling our life either. He uses those times to recalibrate where we are giving our time and effort and resources. He uses those times to remind us of what is more important. He uses those times when our hearts are broken to draw us into a deeper longing for His Kingdom. He uses those times to glorify Himself in us more and more. Do not waste your tears.
This is going to sound odd, but every mother’s day I get teary eyed over the loss of my Grandpa Moore. I loved to play jokes on my Grandpa, and I had two that I loved doing the most. First: every time we were together in the same room, I loved to move my lips but not say anything. You know – pretend like I am talking. Grandpa Moore was hard of hearing and had hearing aides. He was known for asking you 2-3 times what you said and then just pretending he heard you to move the conversation along. When I would mouth word to him, he would take his finger and turn his hearing aides up, then it would screech and squeal, and he would realize what I was doing and he would call me a Skunk and laugh. The other joke I loved to do was to call him on mother’s day and wish him a happy grandmother’s day. We would both laugh really hard and he would call me a skunk, ask how I was, I would respond 2-3 times until he heard me or pretended like he did. Mother’s day makes me want to cry over my grandpa. Girls, you will have odd days or things that trigger those tears in you too. Don’t let those tears control you. Let them push you closer to Jesus. Don’t bottle them up and pin them inside, they will come out eventually and in different forms.
Pastor Ira Baptist Church
Introduction to series blog –
Lessons from a Dad –
Jesus is Better Than You Can Ever Imagine
The Local Church is VITAL
Know What Matters Most
Give Your Best, Always
Be a Little Better Tomorrow
Blog posts without Ira Baptist Church updates can be found at https://moorewordsfromben.wordpress.com/